Why Every Man Needs a Small Group
A place to be known, encouraged, challenged—and find life.
Where do you go to talk about the things that really matter?
Who are the men you trust enough to share what's really going on in your life? Your struggles as a husband, father, grandfather, friend, or leader? Your questions about faith, family, or the future?
And who knows you well enough to ask the difficult questions—and cares enough to listen?
I've come to believe that every man needs a place where he can be himself. A place where he doesn't have to pretend he's got everything figured out. Where he can be honest about his struggles, encouraged in his faith, and lovingly challenged.
For me, that place has been a small group.
Over 30 Years of Walking Together
Throughout my life, I've been involved in different kinds of small groups. But one of my most meaningful experiences has been meeting regularly with two other men for breakfast.
For over 30 years, we've made time for one another, often early on Friday mornings. Getting up at 6:20 a.m. wasn't always easy, but those breakfasts became some of the most important hours of my week.
Over bacon and eggs, we talked about life—our marriages, children, work, churches, disappointments, and challenges.
We shared what God was teaching us through Scripture. We prayed together, encouraged one another, and sometimes asked difficult questions.
Most importantly, we learned to trust each other.
That kind of friendship doesn't happen overnight. It takes time, honesty, courage, and commitment. We've walked through different seasons, attended different churches, and faced unexpected challenges. But we've kept showing up for one another.
"This Is Where I Find Life"
One of the men in our group has often said: "This is where I find life."
I've never forgotten those words.
He wasn't talking about a program or a great Bible study. He was talking about relationships—a safe place where he could be known, heard, encouraged, prayed for, and sometimes challenged.
Another member of our group is Dale Janisse, whom you may have met through the Finish Strong Podcast.
Dale has walked through significant health challenges, including a lung transplant. Through uncertainty and difficult seasons, we've had the privilege of praying together, encouraging one another, and witnessing God's faithfulness.
That's what meaningful friendships do. Sometimes we're the ones needing encouragement. Other times, God uses us to encourage someone else.
We don't have to face life's challenges alone.
A Safe Place to Be Honest—and Challenged
Meaningful small groups are built on trust.
What is shared stays confidential. We respect one another, listen without judgment, and create room for honest conversations.
But genuine friendship also means caring enough to ask difficult questions:
"How are you really doing?"
"Have you talked with your wife about that?"
"What's happening with your relationship with God?"
Sometimes those questions are uncomfortable. But when they come from men who genuinely care, they can change our lives.
Proverbs 27:17 reminds us: "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
We all need men who will encourage us when we're struggling, challenge us when we're drifting, and remind us of God's faithfulness when we've lost perspective.
Why It Matters Even More in the Second Half of Life
As we prepare for, enter, or live in retirement, life changes.
Careers wind down. Familiar relationships may fade. Our routines, responsibilities, and even our sense of purpose can shift. We may know plenty of people but discover that very few really know us.
That's why I believe small groups become even more important in the second half of life.
We need men who remind us that our value isn't found in our careers or accomplishments. Men who encourage us to keep growing in our faith, investing in our families, serving others, and discovering what God still has for us.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us: "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
There's strength in walking together.
We Weren't Meant to Walk Alone
My wife has sometimes asked me, when I've been wrestling with something, "Have you talked with the guys about that?"
She's right.
Our marriages, families, and church communities are incredibly important. But there's something uniquely valuable about having a few trusted men who understand our challenges and are committed to walking alongside us.
After more than 30 years, I'm convinced that these relationships are essential to finishing strong.
We need places where we can talk about what matters. Where we can laugh, sometimes cry, pray for one another, and speak the truth with grace.
Places where we find life.
What About You?
Let me leave you with three questions:
Who really knows you? Is there another man who knows what's happening beneath the surface of your life?
Who can challenge you? Who cares enough to ask the hard questions and speak truth with grace?
Who are you walking alongside? Whose life could be strengthened by your friendship and encouragement?
If you're not part of a small group, why not invite two or three men to meet for coffee or breakfast?
You don't need a complicated program. Start by sharing life, opening Scripture, praying together, and making a commitment to keep showing up.
Life is too important—and the journey of faith too challenging—to walk alone.
You don't have to finish the race alone. Let's help one another Finish Strong.
Ian Nairn
Finish Strong Project — Helping Men Keep the Faith
Ready to Grow Stronger Together?
You don't have to figure it all out on your own. Find a couple of men you trust and start investing in one another's lives. We've put together a Small Group Discussion Guide to help you get started.
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